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Monday, May 19th, 2008
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5:56 pm - In years to come
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I was asked today what I would do, if I ended up all alone in this world.
I thought about it for a moment and replied, I'd do what I do for fun.
I would probably sell everything I have, pack up my tents and primitive gear and move out someplace where I could just live off the land and be who I am.
Not that I wouldn't miss a lot of folks, but I think being who I probably should have been is were I should be.
I heard it said some place, born in the wrong century, on the wrong continent.
Maybe not the wrong place, but do feel I was born a couple hundered years too late.
But, then again, maybe I wasn't.
current mood:  awake
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
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6:43 pm - These trying times
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Well, the last couple weeks have just been something else.
Last Wednesday, one of my workers got stupid, in my face. I kept my cool, reported it...then had to fire him.
Last night, one of the front office pholks, had some issues and was informed he had three minutes to vacate the building.
Two employees in the last 7 days. We lost a manager 3 weeks ago and a sales person a week before that.
Needless to say, my duties have encreased...but some how, the hassle had decreased by at least 75%.
Unfortunatly...all by backstops for "sick days" have moved on to something else. Seems like I can't be sick anymore this year.
Quit unfortunate...I had planned on being sick in 10 days.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do...I kinda commited to something...for money.
Well, maybe I'll win the lottery tommorrow.
current mood:  goofy
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| Sunday, March 30th, 2008
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8:38 pm - It's time
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It's been a aweful last couple weeks.
Looking at the job market, either I'm severly under qualified ( No Bloody Degree), or I need too much loot.
So, as it stands, I have my current job (deadend) to look forward to for a while. So, it will be my objective to creat the place I work, into something I can truely walk away from for a week at a time, and not have to worl 72 hours to get it back in shape when I return.
Yes, you heard it right, I will become the manager most people really hate.
I have already started with assigning lunch breaks. No more waiting till things are just right, use it or lose it.
Things will change...all over.
Vincent Furn...Alice Cooper had it when he said..."No more Mr. Nice Guy"
current mood:  determined
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 28th, 2008
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7:27 pm - A week from Hell
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This last week has been a week from hell.
Monday through Friday 12-14 hour days. No lunch, no break...go, go, go.
Then I had to spend half my weekend in the shop just trying to make room for more product. 25 full loads last week. The next 10 days are to be the same...but worse. I've got no place to put this stuff and no way to get to it to ship it out. Sometimes it takes 45 mins just to get to one skid of product.
Nobody in the office listens to my concerns, my fatigue, my aches. Hell, last week, I fell 5 times...maybe I should just stay down.
It seems as if I am just a punching dummy that keeps coming back for more.
I feel as if I am just wearing away and they will keep wearing at me until I have nothing left...I'm just about there.
I'm tired,sore, irratable,often over heated.
Today I just went ballistic on someone at work.
I feel as if I can just lay down and not get up.
I am nearing ighasution, my eyes won't focus, I can't sleep at night. I've had a headache for three weeks now.
I wonder why I put myself through this...stupid I guess. on't know enought to get a differnt job...maybe just too scared. I don't know much else other that what I am doing, maybe I'll just keep it till it keeps me.
16 tons, and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
St. Peter don't ya call me , cause I can't go.
I owe my soul to the company store.
current mood:  exhausted
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 20th, 2008
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12:05 pm - Home from the land of ice and snow
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I jst returned from 2 1/2 days camping in Rochester. Needless to say, it was an experience. -40 when I got up this morning...windchill.
Camping in the cold is one thing, what I did was something else.
I did keep warm, activities during the daytime, good heat at night. Also, good hot tea throughout the night really helped.
I will be doing this again next weekend, probably with more activities.
After that,,,we'll see.
So yes, camping in the sub zero weather in Minnesota is doable and a good experience.
Plus, it helps me with a cold weather cooking chapter in my cookbook..."From the freezer to the fire"
I feel wonderful, and not even slightly chilled. Maybe that will change tomorrow, at work.
BTW, anybody know of any good indoor jobs...I need to find something different.
Keep cool
current mood:  high
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 13th, 2008
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12:57 pm - ISSUES
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I have been offered a position, a paying position, that could put me in conflict.
Even though scenerios are different, there is still so similarity.
I have been offered a partnership, with two friends, doing living history, with a slightly future date, with different national characters, in a land thousands of miles away.
The issue is, I am running for office with Clann Tartan and the second venue may appear at a few of the same events.
Even though I can keep the two entities separate, some members can cry conflict of intrest.
I may have to resign.
current mood:  confused
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
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7:38 pm
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6:01 pm - Thoughts from my side
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It's been a few months since I last posted here. In that time several things and thoughs have passed through my slowly degrading mind.
Starting with the most recent things.
On Thursday, one of my grand-children will be 1 year old...guess which one.
The last couple of weeks have been hell at work. It has been proven to me that it is hazardous to my health to take any time off work.
So, as long as I an working were I do, I can not take any vacation, I can not be sick and, sorry, but none of you can die.
I took a week off a month ago, and still, I have not caught up.
Also, I have found that no matter who screws up, I am to blame. I was given BAD information and when found out it was bad, that person totally denied ever saying anything to me. And when things are screwed up, while I am gone, I am still to blame...even when the general manager screws it up.
Well, I suppose I should move on to something else, but I am so upset I can't think past the events of the day.
Maybe something later
archie vidarchie
current mood: confused
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 1st, 2007
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3:58 pm - Expectations
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I have given up on things happening the way I have worked them out to be. Far too often, something comes up and slaps me in the face.
For three years now, I have been working hard at putting money away to get something working, so I can have a little fun and save some more money. And everytime I get to that point, something comes up that requires me to give up all I have saved.
Three years ago I bought a motorcycle for $200, knowing it needed work. Took me a year and a half to find someone to do it at a reasonable rate. Since then I have saved up the money needed to get it fixed. A series of road trips to Illinois spent that money three times. I've been promised twice that it would be a Birthday present, Birthdays are a years apart and I have NO confidence that it will happen then.
We have $2000 coming in before Friday, and after the weekend there will be less than $500 remaining until October.
I have had items for sale for about three months now, no body cares for what I have...maybe they are prices too high. I'm going to have to give them away to allow space in my garage again. Hell, I can't even sell the car.
Maybe I need to do something different.
I'm not even sure I can continue on with plans I have set for the next year or so.
current mood:  depressed
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 17th, 2007
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12:59 pm - Finally happened
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After a lot of promting, prodding, begging and other coaxes, I finally got an appointment to go see a grey matter doctor. I will be meeting the PHD on Wednesday, and probably several visits afterwords.
I'm afrain of what he might say is wrong with me,especially after starting to rebuild some bridges.
current mood:  drained
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 15th, 2007
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6:11 am - rebuilding bridges
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Last night I was contacted by my oldest daughter. It had been 19 years since I last spoke with her. Needless to say, I was nervous. I thought I knew what I was going to say and ask. But when the call came, I knew absolutly nothing. I fumbled around for about an hour in our conversation.
I know my dialog with Clann Tartan, but when I comes to talking with one of my children, I turn into a babbling idiot.
I will probably spend most of the day rehersing and laying out dialog, but when that call comes again, who knows.
current mood:  bouncy
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 21st, 2007
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7:32 pm - mental status
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After a stolen day off and a short walk with myself, I have determined that #1 I'm disappointed with where I have been, #2 unhappy with where I am, #3 doubtful about where I'm going.
I have made many,many poor choices in the past that have cost me and cost me dearly. Jobs, family, property, money, friends, memories...all things that I could have possibly retained had I made wise, thought through choices. Instead, I would go with decisions that seemed right for the time, not taking into consideration the possible concequences.
Just like now. I am concidering leaving the job I have had for the past 3 1/2 years. Good job, okay pay, fair vacation time...poor working conditions. I though I should have left in the first 30 days, but I promised myself that this would be the last job I needed to have.
So, rather than run away, I skipped a day and sat and thought..nothing nice. After a full day of nothing, it was recommended that I check into some raisen case problems.
If what I have found is somewhat correct, then I appear to suffer from both self impossed as well as workplace related stress.
But not to leave well enough alone, depression seems to have raised it's ugly head into my life.
MUST think of options.
current mood:  disappointed
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 20th, 2007
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7:00 pm - what to do...
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It seems as if everytime I start to get ahead in my plans to make a better life, even if it is something small and trivial to everyone else, something comes up and just places that razor against my jugular.
Example:
I had planned on getting my motorcycle running so I could save some money over the summer and fall, to make some purchases that would enable me to make a good sum of money over the next couple years. Well, plans were made to make a trip that will cost about $100 more than I had saved to fix the bike.
Then, when I start to get comfortable with my job and get things going the way they should, I make a costly mistake...upon the misunderstood information from the one that can end my career.
I am now very uncomfortable with my job and feel that a longer career with this company can cause a severe lowering in my life expectancy.
I could just hold on for a few more months, knock a few more years off my life. Then, what the hell...change careers at the age of 50. Sounds like a plan. I could go greet at Walmart.
The trip isn't the only thing that is sucking the funds from my pocket.
I get a good paying job, a raise 3 years ago, my taxes have dropped a small amount...I should be doing great. But, NO, some money hungry executive for some over stock oil company feels it necessary to up the price I pay for HIS gas, then the local government wants to add more tax on a gallon of gas. If I remember, don't they get a travel allowence? They don't pay for the gas they use. They just want to use that tax money to pay for fixing the roads and use some of the otyher money that could have been placed for that use, to do something like study the mating habits of South American Tree Toads.
So, here I am, got a good paying job and cant get ahead.
Hmmmm....a wheelbarrow full of Reichsmarks for a loaf of bread....sound familiar?
current mood:  annoyed
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 22nd, 2007
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7:22 pm - Warning!!!!!
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Today, I went to Best Buy to purchase a laptop computer. Nothing fancy, don't need all the bells and crap, just something to write and research with, and keep notes from various meetings and engagments I have.
I had picked out a good computer, within my price range, then the salespuke told me that it was crap, no good and that the processor was one step from the garbage. So, she talked me out of buying it. She also talked me out of sending any more money in the chain of stores. She basicly told me that it was stupid to buy that and that BestBuy sells garbage.
So, I am calling on a boycot on BestBuy, as their trained sales reps believe they sell garbage.
I will not spend my money there.
I had made my choice and they told me it was wrong.
SHUT DOWN BESTBUY.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 18th, 2007
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11:28 am - The reality of it all
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It just came to my attention, after spending a good chunk of money on dinner last night, that we are in serious financial troubles.
While looking at some equipment to better my business, and discussing payments, I found out that we are so far in debt, that we can not afford $20 a month. I never reralized that things were that tight.
It seems that the money we have "given" to Misfits, as well as other needy organizations, has put us so far in debt that it may take years just to get back to even.
The years of traveling, at my cost, has also been a problem with the finances. granted, there were a couple years of reimbursments, but that ca not make up for the times I've given my all.
Now, I have to spend $1200 to put a new clutch in my truck, just to get back and forth to work. Maybe I should take up walking the 7 miles.
Oh, sure, there are other things I can do without, but the fact is that a hand full of dirt won't get you out of the well very fast.
current mood:  stressed
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, February 12th, 2007
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7:58 pm - Sometimes I wonder
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Last weekend was the Scottish Ramble. Near the end of events Saturday, I wasn't sure if I would be able to make attendance on Sunday. And rather than pull all my personal equipment at the end of the day, I thought it would be okay to leave the items so the group would have use of them on Sunday.
When I inquired about picking them up, I found, through e-mail, that my stuff was spread accross the cities.
I also found out that my stuff is trivial compared to everyone elses. "It's around somewhere" is NOT an acceptable answer.
Let's say a rug, spinningwheel or loom ended up in somebodies car, then to their garage, forgotten for a while. "It'll show up".
Right now I am so angry, I need to do something else to keep me from doing something that will last a long, long time.
current mood: angry
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, January 22nd, 2007
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8:54 pm - Realization (sucks)
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I have just realized that everything I had hoped for and have worked for is for squat.
Many people I have known, have just forgotten me.
Things I wanted to achieve have ALL slipped down the drain.
I'm not saying I am giving up, but I am finding it hard to get motivated to get the things done I wanted to get done.
Many of the things I had planned on having done by now have gone undone/untouched.
Is this depression or do I need to get a realtity check?
I'm starting to feel like George W. ( very wishy/washy)
I'll probably never amount to anything and I'll probably be forgotten 10 minutes after I'm gone.
current mood:  uncomfortable
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 26th, 2006
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8:47 pm
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Poll #875993 Do I or Don't I?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: AllWhen something has been on your mind for a couple years, do you forget it, or run with it?
current mood:  pensive
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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8:35 pm - latest news
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This last Friday, (day after Turkey day) I met my youngest daughter, who I have not seen in many years ( I'm thinking about 18).
To tell the total truth, I was a bit afraid that things would not be the way I had pictured it.
Though we did not get into deep conversations, I felt as though I learned a great deal about my youngest.
While there I held my youngest granddaughter, as well as the three year old. My youngest is just 11 days old, as I write this.
I have missed so much in the past many years. So much, that I will never regain. Moments that I should have been there, but wasn't. Even the hard times.
But, then I think, where would she have been or gotten had I still been in the picture for all those years. It's really hard to even guess, let alone say for a fact.
But none the less, we have been reunited. I hope it goes on for a long, long time.
Come in soon, in installments, the story of my life, as I saw it.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
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5:33 pm - why?
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It's been 4-5 months since I faced the panel, and still there is no announcement of what I have acomplished. The attitude I feel is that this particular achievment means absolutly nothing to almost everyone.
Read the newsletter today, no mention of the fact that I had achieved the 4th level. Sometimes it seems like I have wasted a great deal of time and effort in this persuit. Not just the level achievement, but the whole 9 years.
Correct me if I am wrong, but was there ever a mention of me making corp of camp? I don't think so. why do I keep pushing myself, just to make everyone else feel comfortable and not have to do very much.
For 9 years I have busted my ass at every event I have attended, even when I should have been resting because of medical issues. Out of that 9 years, I have only used 5 days of my vacation time for my own use. Otherwise it has all gone to the group. Also, out of the 9 years( 7 of it on staff), I have missed but maybe 5 events.
why?
current mood:  rejected
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